just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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