Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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