we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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