yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
