pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
