just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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