I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
