Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
