found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
