How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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