There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
