Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
tell me about the eggs
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