i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
