Me too!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
