carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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