Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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