They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
