Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
