He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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