She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
