you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The adults are the big ones right?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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