why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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