Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
