WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
