there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
