I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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