it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
