he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
