I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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