do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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