I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
