Don't you send me to vm
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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