Having a random hookup so left but love u
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
