okay pat passed out under dana's car
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
