how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
