He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
