after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
