What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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