I want to have your abortion
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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