I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize