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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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