hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
