i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think i have herpe
just one?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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