Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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