Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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