I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
