You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize