He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
