I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no you cant smoke seaweed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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