your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize