It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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