Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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