dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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