i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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