I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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