I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My ass is underappreciated
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
