You can't motorboat a personality
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A bitchslap is in order.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
