shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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