i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Acid is not a monday night drug
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
