I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
