Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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