his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize