my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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