There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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