I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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