: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
